There is too much to say about this song. On the surface it is almost a real estate listing. It is a simple concrete description of my house and home. I wrote it as a souvenir for my children as they leave for college and career. It is a reminder of who they are, where they come from, that there is something worth sacrificing for and preserving, that somewhere they are they are known well and loved deeply. It is this awareness that will strengthen them in the difficulty they will find ahead. Family is everything.

Family life is the pleasure and reward of everything my husband and I have built over the past 25 years. Not only do I love my kids, I really like them, too. The model for parenting these days seems to be based on managing kids from one activity to another- keeping them out of your hair. There are few family dinners, rarely a conversation about what really matters, no silence for thinking and reflecting, and little openness to each other. Families are small, people are busy, electronic escape is the name of the game. No one is home. This is a deep and serious tragedy.

Our house might look extreme. There is no TV except for the old one in the basement, which is not connected to cable. We have no electronic or video games, the kids don’t use iPods in the house and the only cell phones are for kids who drive, in case of emergency. What is there left to do without all of the modern electronic distraction? We eat dinner together almost every night, and everyone is expected to be there. We talk about everything at the table, tell the stories of the day and really try to think critically about what is going on around us. There has been plenty of difficulty, particularly as kids get older. We face it together. We play music together, read books, build boy stuff in the yard, go to the country, force the kids to help do stupefying landscaping and home improvement projects, cook together, do the dishes together, watch movies, tease each other, wrestle around, and at the end of the day pray together every night. We put some personality into it! It turns out that after doing that for 18 years, kids really do like to come back home. They like to bring their friends, too. Come and see what we have here!

I wish that I could convey to the modern family what they are missing. I wish I could tell other mothers that the work of their life is building these sacred relationships with their husband and kids. Have a house full! Trust your husband to provide and be satisfied with what he brings home. He just might rise to the occasion. Look your children in the eyes and jump in. It teaches them to love, to trust to believe. This is the most important job you have. Go home and see to it. This house is the place to be.

This House is the Place To Be

V1
Just past town, out Highway seventy
Is a split level brick under two elm trees
It’s the one on the left at the dead end street
This house is the place to be

V2
It’s easy to find, there’s a big front stoop
A tree house fort and a basketball hoop
There’s plenty of noise but I’ll guarantee
This house is the place to be

Bridge 1
It’s pancakes in the mornings and smoothie afternoons
One piano three guitars, harmony and blues
There are gardens and a doghouse, two hammocks and a swing
A weight bench and a tool shed where Daddy fixes things
This house is the place to be

V3
Chances are that I’ll be there
With a song in my head and the kids in my hair
There’s no doubt in my mind and it’s easy to see
This house is the place to be

Bridge 2
‘Cause it’s songs on Summer evenings, homework in the Fall
Fires in the Winter, most times a free for all
And dinners can get crazy when everybody’s home
But this place is never boring and you’ll never be alone
This house is the place to be

V4
When you’re off at work, or fighting overseas
Don’t ever forget to remember me
On the glider, on the front stoop with my tension tamer tea
This house is the place to be
This house is the place, this house is the place
This house is the place to be

The military life makes it very obvious that your children are not your own. You form your child’s conscience in faith and high ideals, you protect their heart for the rigors of sacrificial love, you teach them to do what is right no matter what and then…you let them go. A soldier has to see things, know things and do things that he cannot tell anyone, not even his closest family and friends. He sacrifices the shared history we take for granted. But he gains a shared purpose with his fellow soldiers, which is a bond few feel in civilian life. He enters a world that casual cocktail conversation does not understand, and he takes on that isolation. He reminds us by his strength and vulnerability that we are all called to be part of something much larger than ourselves. All of our big talk about “Thy will be done” is laid bare. What a gift it is to have a soldier son!

It took me four years to write Stony Lonesome. For all of you with a soldier in the family, I hope you will recognize yourselves in this song. May God bless our soldiers and their families.

Stony Lonesome

V1
Round about this time he’d be wrestling with his brothers
Snapping towels at each other
On a front porch Friday night
He can almost hear them singing as they do the dishes
Making plans and making wishes
That he’ll get home all right
And he’d do anything to be there
To feel the laughter and smell the night air

V2
Another world away he stands strong at Stony Lonesome
To be sure the boy has grown some
Since he left Tennessee
A little harder in the jaw, a little broader in the shoulder
Now he looks just like a soldier
Being all that he can be
It’s all for one and one for all
He’s on the line when duty calls

Chorus 1
Stony Lonesome, he can see their faces in the night
Too tired to make the move to go upstairs
Solving the world’s problems by the kitchen table light
But he is Stony Lonesome dreaming of the night

V3
What happens to a man when he steps out in that field
And life gets really real
And he’s got to make the grade?
What happens to a heart, must it turn to stone
Will he always feel alone
Familiar faces far away?
Or will he see his brother in
Every man who stands with him ?

Chorus 2
Stony Lonesome he will be there late into the night
Swapping stories, telling jokes, a secret prayer
Solving the worlds problems by a soldier’s lantern light
Stony Lonesome dreaming of the night

Bridge 1
Stony Lonesome, sleep tight
Wake to fight the good fight
With brothers to your left and right
Who could be Stony Lonesome?

Instrumental
Its all for one and one for all
He’s on the line when duty calls

Chorus 3
Stony Lonesome, she will be there late into the night
Rocking her sweet baby in her prayers
Solving the world’s problems by a vigil candle light
Stony Lonesome dreaming of the night

Bridge 2
Stony Lonesome, sleep tight
Somewhere ‘neath the stars tonight
Till God brings you home all right
We are all Stony Lonesome
Stony Lonesome dreaming of the night

Copyright 2011 Ordinary Time Music

It was not like I had an empty nest. I had seven more at home and a new baby boy born a few weeks after the first one left. But it seemed like saying goodbye to the first one changed everything about what I had been doing for the last eighteen years. And it seemed like I could no longer relate to chirpy and optimistic young mothers who thought that if they did everything just right, their children would never have to suffer the slings and arrows of real life. I was stunned speechless. I could no longer write. I was in over my head. You pour yourself into your child for eighteen years, there is a big going away party, then silence. I was glad I didn’t know about this part when I got into the whole thing. And now I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know.

Detachment. You hear the word. It sounds noble and brave. It is really hard. What was I thinking? You don’t get to know how it is going to turn out. You just give them to God. I would rather fold their laundry and hear their stories and wonder why they can’t keep their room straight. This is the big time and boy, does it put you in your place!

After three years I decided that I had to write again. Just go from real life, like you always do, I told myself. How can I do that? I have nothing to say. Well, lets start there. That is what this song is-a first timid foray into detachment. I am starting to get the hang of it. I hope that someday I will like it.

Nothing to Say
V1
Nothing to say since you went away
I sweep the floor, stare out that door
This house, it seems peaceful and clean
The laundry’s done, but where the fun?

I always knew there would come a day
The world would come calling for you
I’d have to stand there and smile and wave
While my heart was just breaking in two

V2
Friends come around, I can’t be found
I stay in bed, over my head
I thought I knew about loving you
I didn’t know about letting go

Lizards and laughter and fishing poles
Prayers before bed every night
Coaches and corsages, time to go
Do your best now and hold your head high

Bridge
So much to remember but now I guess I’ve
got nothing to say
Nothing to say since you went away
But you were grinning ear to ear
In the rear view mirror
So hey, what more can I say?

Instrumental
Tag
Nothing to say
Except for maybe stay
Won’t you stay a while?
Won’t you stay?

Copyright 2011 Ordinary Time Music

Jimmy Mitchell, 25, president of Mysterium Records and producer of the Love Come Alive Festival, was inspired to get more deeply involved in the pro-life movement because of 40 Days for Life.

Read more at the National Catholic Register

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